Best The Tactical Guide to Women: How Men Can Manage Risk in Dating and Marriage By Shawn T. Smith
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Ebook About For men, love is a high-stakes gamble. The right woman can be the best part of a man’s life, and the wrong one can lead to personal and financial ruin. In today’s climate, no man should venture into romance without a reliable risk-management strategy.The Tactical Guide to Women delivers a solid plan for allowing the right women into your life, and keeping the wrong ones at a safe distance. You’ll discover how to:• Identify good women of low drama and high character• Reduce your vulnerability to women who seem perfect for you—but aren’t• Spot the early warning signs of emotional instabilityYou’ll also learn:• Critical techniques for seeing women clearly• The most common mistakes that lead men into disastrous relationships• How to reduce the odds of a good relationship going badImpeccably researched and backed by the author’s decade of clinical experience, The Tactical Guide to Women provides men with desperately needed, rarely discussed strategies for finding sanity, joy, and companionship. This is not another book about getting laid. This book is about not getting screwed.Book The Tactical Guide to Women: How Men Can Manage Risk in Dating and Marriage Review :
The book is a quick, funny, engaging read. Shawn Smith is full of fun turns of phrase and anecdotes. The title is a bit infelicitous. It suggests a smarmy book on pick-up artistry. The subtitle - "How Men Can Manage Risk in Dating and Marriage" - accurately portrays the content, which is standard self-help relationship psychology from a straight man's point of view. I appreciate the book's engagement with the psychological literature - many self help books eschew statistically grounded measurements of human behavior.I particularly value the book for its pro-male, pro-female stance. Smith is able to discuss important risks of dating and marriage for men - diastrously asymmetric legal outcomes in divorce; inaccurate societal assumptions about domestic violence - from a positive, relationship-affirming point of view. He takes on these inequities and toxic feminist worldviews without the angry, bitter, misogynist tack typical of the Men's Rights Activist or Red Pill communities. Smith makes it clear that unabashed masculinity is something healthy heterosexual women seek and cherish in men; this message is lost in more "politically correct" self-help books, to the detriment of men misled into trying to auto-feminize their way to success in love.Unfortunately I didn't find the core of this book - Smith's concept of a "bright triad" of clarity, maturity, and stability in high quality women - to be particularly convincing. I found the material to be a mishmash of general relationship skills and some gee-whiz material on women suffering from mental illness, addiction, or personality disorders. Maybe better editing would have made this categorization of traits more clear. (At a lower level, the copyediting in the book is not great. Duplicated sentences, missing words, and extra words are frequent.) But I fear that the concept itself may just not be that strong. On the topic of general relationship skills, I found Gottman and Silver's _The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work_ to be more cogently organized and a wonderful read for men and women alike.My own interest in this book stemmed from my relationship history - getting ready to return to dating after two relationships in a row where I poured energy into fine young women who coolly resisted commitment. I came away disappointed. Before buying this, I read Robert Glover's _No More Mr Nice Guy_. It was revelatory to the point of being devastating in unpacking my own contribution to these failures. Glover does not say much on how to pick women well, so I wanted to know Smith's take on selecting for women with an appetite for commitment. Smith has nothing to say on the matter, and in fact, I struggle to pin down where these ex-girlfriends go wrong on his bright triad rubric. Furthermore, I was hoping for advice on gleaning information about compatibility on a few-date "tactical" timescale. Smith suggests waiting a year beyond the initial 12-18 month honeymoon period to emotionally evaluate a prospective partner before making hard-to-reverse commitments. I was disappointed to read that, as 2.5 year heartbreaking roads to nowhere are exactly what I'm looking to head off at the time of writing. A couple more of those and I'll be squarely middle-aged and never-married. If your past resembles mine - a history of failing to find commitment rather than jumping into it with disastrous partners - I enthusiastically recommend Glover. Glover at least pushes the reader to be a "good ender," e.g. to break up quickly and decisively when there seems to be a poor fit. That advice is far more tactical than anything here.All told, this book is not bad, but I feel it does not live up to its promise. As a divorce attorney of over 14 years, I regularly see men in my office who are devastated and baffled as to why their marriage is ending and why the wife has decided to take them to the cleaners, both financially and emotionally. This book is for men who don't want to find themselves in that position. This book is for men who don't want to waste years and years with the wrong woman only to lose half of their retirement/paycheck to a person who didn't value them to begin with. This is the book I will give my 17 year old son to read before he ever gets into that first relationship. Life is too short and precious to waste investing time, money, and love with a person who is toxic. If you are contemplating whether a new person is right for you, or whether your spouse is right for you...and especially if your own bad habits are causing you to make costly love decisions...the Tactical Guide offers great advice and great insight for both men and women who want healthy and lasting relationships. One of the best books on relationships I have ever read. 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